I became designer because my seniors were doing it and i suck

Starting somewhere for the wrong reasons is still starting. Many practitioners I've listened to over the years didn't choose design so much as stumble into it, and then one day, something clicked. The stumbling wasn't the problem. Staying asleep was.

What often separates those who grow from those who drift is finding the foundational layer beneath the discipline. Color, composition, form, perception. Not the glamour of the job title, but the quiet principles underneath everything. Once you touch that layer, something shifts.

You don't need a noble origin story. You need one honest year of going deep. The reasons you started stop mattering once the practice becomes your own.